Based on readings from “Walking with Sam” by Andrew McCarthy & “Telling Yourself the Truth” by William Backus & Marie Chapian
Too often I find myself watering the weeds (lies & misbeliefs) and not taking care of the grass and flowers (the truth & goodness) in my life.
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The Trail of Misbeliefs
Andrew McCarthy (Pretty in Pink & Less than Zero) took his son Sam (17) hiking on Spain’s 500-mile-long Camino de Santiago. Andrew was looking to create a more meaningful connection with Sam while recreating his own life-altering journey decades before.
Throughout the hike, both Andrew and Sam do a lot of soul-searching. At one point, Andrew is having a restless night. Thoughts about not being a good father or husband. He even had a passing thought that everyone would be better off if I were alone.
Spain’s 500-mile-long Camino de Santiago
Like many of us, Andrew was experiencing negative self-talk or misbeliefs. Too often we tell ourselves misbeliefs so often that they become our truths. “What will they think of me if I … “ or “They will reject me if I …” “If my children act out in public others will think I am a bad parent.”
The day before I read this chapter, I was telling myself, I was a bad and angry dad, I wasn’t a good friend to others, and even that I wasn’t a good Christian. I knew in my heart that these were all lies, but I still listened to these misbeliefs and allowed myself to feel down for a good portion of that day. I let my misbeliefs run my life.
A few hours later I was able to practice my mindfulness tool called SHIFT and get off of that negative path. Mindfulness involves being present in the moment.
SHIFT - Mindfulness
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What is SHIFT? - Consider a cargo ship. A small 5-degree change in direction will mean 100s of miles of difference by their final destination. We don’t need to do a 180-degree change in our life, just 1-5 degrees.
Stagnation – Recognize you are caught in a destructive pattern
Heading – Realize your need to change your direction
Innovation – Do something different
Fearlessness – Dare to do something different (guerilla warfare)
Transformation – Repeating above will rewire your brain (Neuroplasticity)
The next morning I read Andrew's story and chapter one of “Telling Yourself the Truth” by William Backus & Marie Chapian. Andrew pointed the way to my misbeliefs and William and Marie gave me the steps to combat my misbeliefs
Steps
Identifying or seeing your disbelief
Remove them - I will not listen to this lie anymore
Replace them with the truth
My example
The Lie “I am not a good Father” - The Truth “I raised three healthy, successful, intelligent, and strong adults and I am proud of all three of them”
The Lie “I am not a Good Friend” - The Truth “I have many men I call friends or brothers. Men I trust with my life”
The Lie “I am not a good Christian” - The Truth “No one is. Jesus is the only one that can judge me and he gave his life for me knowing who I am”
D2 Coaching Can help - Let's kill those weeds
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For personalized support and coaching, consider reaching out to Darrin at D2-Coaching. His expertise and guidance can provide you with the tools to overcome obstacles and chart a course toward a more fulfilling life.
Remember, your journey is uniquely yours, and the steps you take today can pave the way for a brighter tomorrow. Embrace the process of growth and transformation, and you'll find yourself breaking free from the shackles of overwhelm, ready to unleash your full potential.
What weeds are you watering? Share in comments or better yet, share your new truth!
Andrew McCarthy (right) and his son Sam on Spain's Camino de Santiago pilgrimage trail.
Photo by Sam McCarthy
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